As a Kid, I always used to think what others had and how i would have reached greater heights if i had the same circumstances. This manifested as me being envious of others and highly helpless towards anything new. Constant moaning and complaining about how others have been impartial to me instead of focussing on how to become better.
How to make peace with circumstances?
In my college years, some time in 2011-2012, I with my team of 4 folks went to compete in RoboWars at IITBHU tech fest. During that time, we spent a lot of time visiting other events during this fest. I signed up for this one event that was talking about entrepreneurship(This was when starting a new company was not considered as cool). In this event, Dr. Puneet Bindlish came in to explain concepts of management. While i do not remember the complete session, this one lesson has changed my life.
Puneet asked for 5 volunteers, I was one of them. He then pointed to a bowl full of colorful Gems(~M&Ms). He mentioned do not take more than seven. Once everyone of us took seven pieces. He went on to explain that no one has same resources available with them, some high number of blue gems depicting high capital, some have high green ones depicting better access to VCs. But No two individuals have the same number of all colored gems. Same is the case with circumstances, you can not change your parents, their experiences, your city, your life. You have to make the best of what you have.
How to look at helplessness
The feeling of not being in control is the worst feeling. you constantly feel lost, broken, impotent, powerless. In order to tackle this, remember this equation of life:
Life event + Your Response = Outcome
Sports are a great way to change your mindset and shift into a winner mindset. Football has been one sport that i have loved the most growing up, it improves team work and allows one to inculcate leadership. I started as a guy who was passed over to be selected in the school team to becoming the team captain of the school team. This took consistent practice and perseverance. Life throws curveballs all the time, but your response to any situation is all you have in control. No one explained this lesson to me but I learnt this the hard way. One fine day dejeted i took the decision to better myself no matter what.
All the outcomes are a factor of how you react to the good things in life and how you react to the setbacks, that is how influence the outcomes of your life overtime. It is a feedback loop that takes into account the actions taken on the previous event.
You weaken yourself by looking at what others did wrong & you strengthen yourself by focusing on what you can do to improve.
As we start the New Year, let me share the Wisdom Prayer with you.
Give me the Strength to change what i can The Patience to accept what i can not, and Give me the wisdom to tell the difference
~P
